Backsliding

My blog today is entitled "Backsliding." I started this blog with the purpose of sharing how I'm doing on my goal of becoming organized. Yet, a month later, I'm finally posting what was supposed to be a once-a-week blog.

 

In the book of 1 Corinthians in the Bible, a man named Paul compares living life to running a race. More specifically, it’s found in chapter 9, verses 24 through 27. In my Bible, the section is titled “The Need for Self-Discipline.” I think it’s very fitting, because my goal to become organized this year as somewhat morphed into a journey of becoming self-disciplined. Ultimately, the attainment of this will help me reach my goal of organization, or hinder me from ever reaching it. 

I have found that in working to become organized, one needs to plan regularly. Once my tasks are in place, I then need to follow that plan, and follow through with it. The key here is consistency. Following a plan and following through are, unfortunately, not my strong suits, thus my dire need for self-discipline. It's so much easier for me to dream up my goals and get my dreams on paper than it is to complete the little tasks, and so I lose focus in the process.

Paul states, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” He later adds, “Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.” Now I've seen two grown men step into a boxing ring at a gym before, never having boxed before, all pumped up about beating their opponent, only to watch them have a go at it and see their flailing arms go everywhere, never really landing a punch, and both guys were exhausted by round 1. It was hilarious then, seeing this, thinking to myself that these men thought that this whole boxing thing was easy - Erh! Wrong! 

And yet looking back, I can now relate to Paul's description of this boxer. I can relate to these guys, because it is an accurate portrayal of how I see myself right now. I feel like I did a great job my first few weeks of seeking organization. I had my projects lined up, my to-do lists ready. I was checking things off left and right. And then it happened. Life got in the way and I stopped.  I could blame it on my week-long cold. I could blame it on that long day, or that impromptu visit to visit family, taking up an unexpected evening. But a part of growing up (which I’m still in the process of) is taking responsibility.  So here I find myself, after sliding down the mountain I had so diligently climbed, back near the bottom. My planner is blank for the week, and my weekly food menu, while partly filled out, has not been followed.  So while I still feel exhausted from running, I’m running aimlessly, in circles, and I find myself right back to where I started.

I wonder if God sees us as rats in a little maze, running around, refusing to look at the map with directions He’s already provided us. But I won’t give up. I refuse to go back to living on a whim because I know what brought me to my resolution in the first place – the need for change. This is only a reminder of that. I’ve learned along the way some things that worked well for me, and some things that didn’t. I’ll make smaller goals to hit smaller milestones and keep moving forward (taking a hint from the turtle that actually won his race).   

Here are some tips I’m taking for myself along the way:

• Simplifying
  I've learned that going from having no weekly menu plan to a full day, three-meal + snacks menu plan is a lot of work. Even more work when I’m juggling other goals. Time to put that ball down and switch it up a bit. I’ve created a new “dinner only” menu plan. I know I can always whip up something for breakfast and lunch so long as I have my staple items on hand, which I’ve gotten better at stocking up with my master shopping list.
• Checking Directions
  I’m going back to making sure I check my daily planner every night and morning. And this time, I’ll glance back at the monthly calendar as well. I need to give myself a bird’s eye view of where I am in the month to have a better sense of direction in terms of where I’ll find my focus and motivation. This way I don’t use the kids nap time to aimlessly work on tasks that are low priority and could wait until later.
• Pausing & Reflecting
  Adding time for meditation and reflection. The days that I take time for quiet moments (when I can sneak them in) just to close my eyes and let my thoughts unwind are the days I feel clearer and calmer. I tend to always rush myself from one thing to the next, but I have found that pausing here and there to pray and think help me get more accomplished at the end of the day, and enjoy the day in the process.
• Taking a Day of Rest
  And doing my best to “keep the Sabbath.”  I think God had a good idea when he chose to take a siesta after creating the universe and mankind. In fact He knew it was a good idea, and extended that day of rest to us.  “For anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their own works, just as God did from his (Hebrews 4:10).” Jesus said that the Sabbath was, in fact, made for us (Mark 2:27). 
  I always struggled with this concept of giving up a whole day in the week to rest. After all, I worked 5 days a week, and the weekends were my time to catch up around the house and do the things I couldn’t cram during the week. Certainly it was unrealistic to live with a full day of rest. More recently, I did some more reading and I found out how people kept this tradition in the Old Testament so successfully. They’d gather their food and prepare the day before. “Bear in mind that the Lord has given you the Sabbath; that is why on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days (Exodus 16:29).”
  
  So their trick was – put it on the calendar and plan for it! So I started to do this, and I stopped scheduling my tasks on this day. I have begun preparing casseroles, creating two batches of lasagna and freezing one for Sunday, or the like. So far so good, and this is one tip from the Bible I want to keep! If God gave me a day of rest, I’ll take it! Sure being a parent is still work, and that continues even on days of rest, but I find my Mondays being more energized than drained, and I’m ready for the weekly race!

Though I found myself disappointed at my “backsliding,” I’m back to the climb. I’m digging in my heels, and keeping on keeping on. I hope that any of you reading this find that while the roads to change may be discouraging at times, but what matters most is to persevere. You live, you learn, and you keep moving – forward! Run to win the race!